I keep forgetting that they don't have fully formed emotions and brains and need hard, fast lines to help figure stuff out.-
Today I got a little upset for the first time and had to quickly determine how I was going to show t. Do I freak out and let them know that they crossed a line? Domu kindly speak to them and hope my gentle instruction is hearx? Do I take three deep breaths and ask the lord for help? A little of both
I was helping my little Nessy paint her room lavender when I stepped away for a few minutes. She was reaching the top corner of the wall and unable to reach, called out to her big sister for help. Did this sweet sisterly moment end up in a hallmark card? No, this was a pout fest of "I'm not gonna help you. I don't wanna paint. You're stupid"
I wanted to fly into that room and tell her to take 20 seconds and help her sister out. Especially considering that she had been napping and doing nothing all day. I don't know why this upset me so much. Maybe it was the wood floor dplattet of lavender paint by a 13 year old trying her best. Maybe it was the paint she also somehow got on the driveway (how?!). Maybe I'm just in a silent, constant state of "what did I sign up for"
I'm not sure but I resolved to wait about 15 minutes then pull her aside to say that her sister needs her for dumb little things and big things. And if she says no to the dumb stuff, then little sis won't trust her for the big stuff. And they'll need each other today, tomorrow and in 20 years.
Did it work? I don't know. Was it received? I don't know. Domu feel more at peace about it. Yeah.
I'm sure bigger, louder, nastier things will be coming up with a 16 and soon to e 14 year old in the house but I'm going to keep breathing it it and taking a moment to remember that yes not about me it's about them today, tomorrow and in 20 years.